Pregnancy is can be exciting, scary, or overall full of emotions for anyone. But let’s talk about pregnancy when you’re Latina. If your experience has been good, I’m happy for you! Personally, pregnancy has been one of the most challenging months of my life so far, for many reasons. If you’re like me, know that you’re not alone. There are many changes your mind and body are going through. Not to mention how your identify is changing. Stay to hear more about the struggles I’ve faced during pregnancy and how being Latina complicated some stuff but also provided me with extra strength.
Let’s talk about the struggles of the Latina Pregnancy
The señoras WILL comment
For some reason, people feel much more comfortable making comments about my body to my face now that I’m pregnant. It’s like my pregnancy gave them permission to share their opinion. Unfortunately, the custom our people has is to be pretty passive aggressive when it comes to commenting. Maybe even just plain aggressive with an expectation that you will take it.
From my experience, it has been the older generations that have made comments about how I look. Because younger people are supposed to respect their elders, these ladies expect no negative reaction from me. I wonder that would happen it I did the same?
Comfortable giving you their opinions
Despite pregnancy coming with its own set of difficulties, you must learn to deal with a new wave of people sharing their opinion. Not that I necessarily expected the señoras to comment, but I definitely did not expect younger people to do so. I never though family members close to my age would have so much to say about my choices as a new [pregnant] mom. It was even more surprising to hear opinions from family member who don’t even have kids.
I learned the hard way not to share our options for baby names or delivery choices. People had the most negative opinions about my choice to birth naturally in a birth center instead of in a hospital. Though I know most shared opinions came from a place of concern for our safety, none were supportive.
Latina Creencias/Beliefs
It’s no secret that Latinas have generations of myths, legends, remedios, and traditions… The most popular one being la cuarentena. Of course, different communities have different beliefs about this. But it comes down to ONLY focusing on resting and recovering for the first 40 days after the birth of your baby. Some people believe you’re supposed to eat mainly caldos (soups) such as chicken soup. I’ve also heard some Latinas think it’s damaging to take a shower during la cuarentena.
Others will judge you for going outside of your home before 40 days have passed. While I agree with the main idea, which is to take care of yourself, it can put some pressure on you to hear so many different opinions about what you should do following the birth of your baby.
Other creencias include things like: you’re not supposed to lift heavy weight or workout in general. My mom was always worried when I told her I went to the gym during the first stage of my pregnancy. She believed this would lead to a miscarriage.
Another one is older Latinas believing that astrological events like eclipses affect your baby. My mom gave me a fabric image of a santo. The back was red and I was supposed to wear it during my entire pregnancy with a safety pin. The belief is that eclipses will “take something” from your baby. Meaning, the baby may be born missing half of their lip, maybe an arm, etc.
Traditions – Old and New
Well this one also includes our last section above. From la cuarentena to eclipses, there are so many traditions that Latinas have when it comes to pregnancy. Being a Latina in the United States, we have adopted the tradition to throw a baby shower for the pregnant person. This is something I never heard of when I lived in Mexico. An old tradition is visiting the newborn and the mom either at the hospital or when they’re already home. I personally love this tradition as it provides an opportunity for family and friends to meet the baby right away.
I’m here to tell you that you can create your own traditions and set boundaries with people who want to impose theirs on you. Pregnancy and postpartum are two of the most vulnerable times for a woman. No one should dictate what’s right and what’s wrong. Only you get to decide that.
Yes, there are struggles but…
I won’t deny the struggles of the Latina pregnancy. Just like I won’t deny the benefits of having a Latina community during pregnancy and postpartum. Want I want you to get from this post is that most of us Latinas deal with these struggles when pregnant. It is hard. People can definitely get to you, especially because you’re already going through something very difficulty physically and emotionally.
You’re not alone and it’s not wrong to set boundaries. I know it’s challenging but doing so will protect your mental health and, in turn, you’ll be protecting your baby’s health. In order for change to happen we must take action. Remember, being honest does not equal being rude. We can practice honesty with our family without having to intentionally be mean.
You got this!
